Adventures

Day 30: Jackrabbit Finish

Max

Silver City, NM (13 July 2019) The morning arrived after only a few hours sleep but that was of no concern. My body was abuzz with anticipation. I was looking forward to being reunited with Pat and ready to savor the last day riding the Tour Divide.

Before departing the room in Silver City, everything that wasn't needed for the one day ride to the border was unpacked and discarded. This included toiletry items and even some first aid items. It was a brutal purge, designed to create enough room to allow the backpack to be emptied. With the backpack empty, it could be attached to the handlebar bag, liberating it from my back. This was a trick I used in Wisconsin where the gravel and paved roads are mostly smooth. A trick that was impossible traveling the rough roads on much of the Tour Divide route.

Yesterday I struggled on the hiking trail for a time but eventually came to appreciate it as well. I fell into the trap of expectations which were my undoing. Despite a morning infused with the energy of anticipation, I felt very much in the moment as Silver City disappeared from mind and sight. The paved climb away from town, the loose gravel road heading south toward the interstate highway and the soaring hawk overhead simply became a part of existence. When I think back on the entire Tour Divide it seems that joy flowed from being in the moment but that was not true. Oddly enough, my truth was that the emotion that best described being in the moment was indifference. In the moment, the wind was for or against, the climb was steep or the descent was fast. Only in retrospect, was I thrilled, scared, deflated or happy. Perhaps this is what others have called loss of ego. Of course there were lots of times when I wasn't truly in the moment. Sometimes to my detriment. The impatience that led to loosing control on a descent and puncturing my tire in three places, comes to mind. If I had been in moment, that impatience would not have existed. Challenges on the route often meant that hours passed and very few miles were gained. The vast majority of the time, this didn't seem to matter. It just was.

Besides becoming accustomed to being in the moment, the other takeaway for me was a realization that I am tougher than I thought. There's no way to explain this fully or how big an impact this realization has had on my life after the Tour Divide. It manifests in two ways -- I gained the feeling of having nothing to prove; and trust in myself. Before the Tour Divide, I might have said those things but the feeling gained from Divide was fundamentally broader and deeper.

During last two weeks, when my mind was not in moment, it often drifted back to sitting in the backyard with Pat as we watched our hen Malty pick about for insects and seeds. When I allowed myself this daydream, I thought that once I returned home I might never leave. One thing the Tour Divide made clear to me was that my priorities are at home.

31 miles to go

Back in the reality of moment, the eTrax indicated I was off route. This became apparent just as the sandy road started a gentle climb. The tire track of another cyclist was followed around a bend past a turnoff for a more rustic looking gravel road. The tire track was seen heading back down the slope as I began my own retreat. I imagined the track belonged to Mikki on his way to the finish, having left Silver City hours earlier.

Bowlin's Trading Post appeared just after crossing under the interstate highway. It's a large retail store with gifts and stuff but also a spattering of convenience store fare. During this pause from pedaling, I ate chips, drank coke and purchased some Gatorade. Most importantly, a text from Pat revealed she was on the interstate heading my way!

Rolling up to the finish

When possible, I tried look for our car on the interstate highway but the gravel road was on the south side of the highway which made the west bound lane the far lane from my vantage point. It wasn't long before I found myself pedaling in the moment along the gravel frontage road -- taking in the road, the road signs, the long views of the grassy desert plain and the fast traffic on the adjacent highway. When Pat rolled up behind that was just what was happening. We hugged and enjoyed a moment but afterward it felt odd. I've been looking forward to seeing her but being so in moment, I must have seemed indifferent. At the time, I thought nothing of it but soon afterwards the whole encounter seemed strange. Have I forgotten how to interact with loved ones or was that just a quirk of the moment? I wondered if others have had this experience.

Hatchita was a small town with a convenience store and community center. Jeff Cullum runs the store and has ridden the Tour Divide. When I was there he said he started with us in Banff this year but was forced to abandon in Montana. His energy was great and it was pleasure meeting him. As I started to settle in at a table in the store, Jeffrey Sharpe appeared and we started to talk. Jeffery is the person to contact if you need to get to or be collected from the border with Mexico near Antelope Wells. During our conversation he mentioned that he gathered Max early this morning and when I remarked how much I enjoyed Max's company, Jeffery said he was going to fetch him!

Flying to the finish

Just when I was feeling a bit like my head was about to explode due to a sudden overload of social interactions, Lee appeared. Lee is Mikki's wife and she thoughtfully sought me out to thank me for riding with Mikki after Larry's unfortunate abandonment. It was my pleasure of course and it was great to meet her. By the time Jeffery returned with Max, I was getting anxious. The tentative plan to hang out at the store until the temperature dropped seemed silly. Besides, Jeff Cullum indicated later in the afternoon was when the thunderstorms rolled through.

Max looked so relaxed and happy to have finished. In borrowed clothes he appeared with a beer in his hand. The envy within grew in earnest as we talked and I did my best to smile. Good humored and undaunted by what appeared to be a catastrophic equipment failure, Max completed the race by riding long days and camping rough. As did Adam who was apparently was wise to take a day off -- having left Helena a day after I did to finish a full day ahead. As recalled on day one of this journal, Adam helped Max fix his bike with the aid of tools I carried. Max never had the part replaced and the repair sufficed from day one to the finish. I truly enjoyed getting this chance to see him again but the pull of finish was too strong to resist.

Mandatory photo, check

I departed Hatchita overcome with a desire to finish. I felt this more strongly now than at any other time during the past month. The tires hummed on the pavement as the rough flat desert of grass, gravel and sand embraced me from all directions. A roadrunner was spotted streaking across the road and then suddenly something even faster flew through the sage in the distance. With a flash of white it appeared again, this time it crossed the road just ahead -- it was a hare with a striking white side and white-tipped ears that were so large they suggested antlers. Could this have been a displaced antelope jackrabbit? It was thrilling to be that close to such an amazingly fast animal. It was most likely a white-sided jackrabbit. This area of New Mexico is the only place in the U.S. where one might spot this jackrabbit which is rarely seen during the day. Perhaps something scared it from its hiding place.

Nearly hundred miles had passed under wheel since leaving Silver City. The miles seemed easy, being mostly downhill with a light breeze which at times provided cooling as it blew in my face. With just thirty miles remaining, I was fueled by Gatorade. After the jackrabbit sighting, my thoughts were consumed with finishing. Thoughts which were interrupted only briefly when Jeffery Sharpe drove past and slowed down to say hi.

Pat came upon me with about a dozen miles left in the 2,745 mile journey from Banff, Canada. I was ecstatic to see her! I overflowed with emotion. In stark contrast to our earlier meeting, I even teared up when she drove away. Later, we would both puzzle over how different those two encounters were.

Learning how best to carry the bike paid off during Tour Divide

Pedaling seemed secondary -- I was filled with so much energy of anticipation that it seemed as if the bike would move whether I pedaled it or not. Ahead a car came the from other direction and pulled to the side. It was Lee and Mikki. We hugged and congratulated each other -- each being happy for the accomplishment of the other.

Moving again, I saw another car heading toward me. This car turned around to escort me toward the finish. It was Pat of course. This didn't last long but how could it -- less than a mile remained. I was so happy Pat was there at the finish. The whole area at the border was incredibly stark. The border station was closed for the day but more importantly, I just completed the Tour Divide in 29 days, 9 hours and 7 minutes.

THE END

Flow & I at home	Dots move from Grants to the finish

Elevation profile for Day 30